Kristin Cavallari Gets The Dogs Barking From Her Tub, Paige Spiranac In MAGA Red & Is Bryan Cranston A Moron?

Over the hump and officially to May's final stand. Two days left, and she's over – just like that. We're on to June, on to summer, and officially into ‘Countdown SZN.’ 

Let's do a quick check-in while we're on the topic …

- 86 days until Week 0 of the college football season. 

- 93 days till the first college football Saturday. 

- 98 days till Cowboys-Eagles NFL opener on Thursday night. 

- 101 days till the first NFL Sunday. 

And that means we're now 48 hours away from being under the 100-day mark for everything football-related in 2025. And if that doesn't light your ass on fire on this final Thursday of May, I cannot help you. 

Take your butts down the hall to CNN's ‘How To Lose 80% Of Your Audience In Record Time’ class, and leave us be!

Anyway, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we get the dogs HOWLING over Kristin Cavallari, and go from there. 

What else? I've got Paige Spiranac in MAGA red for you patriots in class today (and that's all of you), an all-time performance from a fan who stormed the field last night in Anaheim. Bryan Cranston shows us how dumb the Hollywood elites really can be, and I'm beyond confused on how to navigate an Aldi.

Seriously, I went today to help out the First Lady, and I might as well have been in a different country. I don't get it. Not sure I even want to get it. Please help. 

Grab you a quarter so you can go shopping later on, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

What's the deal here?

So, I started my day off at Aldi. Not Publix. Aldi. Felt pretty dirty about it because Publix is easily – and I mean easily – the greatest supermarket in America, but whatever. 

Aldi has some good deals on ground beef, so the First Lady sent me on my way. I don't go to Aldi. Not sure if I've ever stepped foot in one before – certainly not alone. And I was lost. Just … lost. 

I didn't have a quarter in my truck because it's 2025, so I couldn't use a cart. What are we doing here? I was also pretty sure I couldn't ask for help, because A) they don't like to waste time, and B) there was literally one employee working the entire store. Felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole time. 

I know Aldi's whole shtick is efficiency, but my God, I just wanted to find where the hell the coconut milk was. Didn't happen. Didn't find it. Gave up after 10 minutes. 

By the end of this insufferable trip, I walked out of the store with four things of ground beef, some cheese, a thing of paprika, and a thing of blueberries. And when I say ‘walked out,’ I mean just … walked out with all that crap in my arms. 

No bag, unless I wanted to buy one. I looked like I robbed the place and was trying to make a run for it through the parking lot. 

My King Ranch seat was drenched in condensation by the time I got home because it's a billion degrees in Florida right now. I dropped a package of ground beef on the driveway on the walk to the door. 

Do people here like Aldi? Do y'all shop there? I'm pretty positive they're super-woke – like, the bad bad bad kind of woke – so I assume I won't make it a regular thing. 

But I need a pulse check – STAT. Lemme have it. 

Walter White has become such a loser, and it's sad

Yeah, so, they're clearly insufferable. To be fair, that's over in Ireland, which is the unfortunate country that now houses Rosie O'Donnell, so you can't really expect too much. 

But still, you know where that crap doesn't happen? Publix. #MyStore. Always and forever. 

Anyway, let's move on … to something equally insufferable. Someone, actually. 

Bryan Cranston, who played arguably the greatest TV character of all time, has become such a loser. I mean, just listen to this. 

No idea if it's current or not, but it doesn't matter. It popped up on my Twitter timeline last night, and it was so, sooooooooo depressing:

Paige, Kristin & what a move!

I mean, what are we even saying here? Is Bryan Cranston an idiot? That's a serious, genuine question. Is he a moron? 

Has to be, right? Most of the Hollywood elites are, so it certainly makes sense. 

Saying Trump makes the world seem awful – when it's really not – is a classic case of ‘head up your own ass syndrome.’ Bryan Cranston lives in his own world, much like all of Hollywood. 

They spew bullshit because they aren't real life. They don't experience real life. They lived in gated communities in Brentwood and think the world's the greatest place ever. It's not. It hasn't been for years now. 

This is why Trump won, by the way. Because the insufferable Hollywood elites don't realize how miserable we've all been for years now. They thought Joe Biden was God's gift to earth. Still do. It's amazing. 

Secondly … saying Trump doesn't present solutions is truly the dumbest thing I've heard today, and I started my day seeing an ESPN Twitter post calling Angel Reese "an icon." So, the bar was already set pretty high, and dumbass Walter White flew on by it with ease. 

Disagree with his policies all you want – that's fine, that's America – but to say Trump doesn't do anything is beyond wrong. The guy has signed more executive orders, tariffed the shit out of more countries, and evicted more illegals in this country than literally any other president in the history of time. 

And he's only been back in office for a few months! These people are so insufferable, and so incredibly stupid, that it makes my head hurt. 

Walter White has become such a loser. Sad. 

OK, that's a lot of yapping for one day – let's get to the rapid-fire portion of class so we can all get on outta here. 

First up? While Bryan was spewing nonsense, Pageviews was pumping out #content in MAGA red. Or Sunday red. Whichever you prefer, really:

Love to see Paige moving on up in the world! From golf influencer to front office role for something called "Grass League." Never heard of it, will never watch it, but I'm all in. Obviously. 

Next? From the Grass League to the grass at Angels Stadium, let's go ahead and get this ATHLETE signed up for an NFL tryout STAT:

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! What a move! What a twist right at the end, although I did sense it was coming. This guy simply had too much speed built up to be taken down in the open field. There was no shot. 

Once I saw him turn around and start barreling towards the lone security guard, it was curtains. He stood no chance. Remember Reggie Bush in the open field back during his prime? You didn't stand a chance against him. 

That's what we had here. Just an absolute mismatch. 

OK, that's it for today, boys and girls. Good class. Let's finish strong with Kristin Cavallari taking a page out of Herbstreit's book and showing off her dog to the world. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You think Bryan's as dumb as I do? Email me at [email protected].